May 30 2012
My beautiful little girl, I'll always remember the day I found you. Only a few weeks old, you waddled over to me, a tiny ball of fur, and jumped into my arms. I knew at that moment that we were meant to find each other.
The 13 years we had together wasn't enough. I always pictured you as being one of those cats that lives crazy long lives. I feel like I've been robbed of precious time with you.
One week ago today, you left me. That day I knew something was terribly wrong. My dread was worsened as I brought the carrier over to you to take you to the ER. You let me put you in it without a fight. The first time in your life that it didn't take me an hour to get you in. Chills ran through my body.
That day still seems like a blur to me. The doctor coming in and explaining that you were a lot sicker than I had thought, and that you didn't have much time left. The decision I had to make to end your misery was the hardest in my life. How could I choose to end the life of something I loved so much? I contemplated taking you home but I realized how selfish that would make me when you were clearly in so much pain. Although it hurt me and will haunt me for the rest of my life, I'm glad I was there with you for your last breath. The second I told the doctor, "I'm ready," you stood up, walked over to me, and curled you body into my chest almost and if you were telling me you were ready and wanted me to hug you as it happened. Holding you as your body turned cold and feeling your soul leaving your body killed a piece of me.
Everything makes me think of you these days, songs, pictures, looking at your spot on the bed. I made Mac n Cheese today and realized you weren't here to bug me for some. You'll never know how much happiness and love you brought me. I was 14 years old when you came into my life so I feel as if we grew up together. That's a bond I will never have with another cat. And as I sat here writing this, having a beer with Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here playing, Cleo sat watching me the whole time. I think it's her way of saying bye to you. Thank you for choosing me to be your mom, Meowthy; it was a privilege that I will always treasure. I'll miss and think about you every day until I can be with you again.
My special friend,
Inside my heart you'll stay,
You'll be with me until,
Shines through the night,
It never will.
My little star,
You'll never fade away,
The hands of time are still,
And we'll be forever young
We'll love you forever,
Mom, (Tati) your sister Cleo, & brother Shinobi