My name is Diesel, I am almost 12 years old and in a few days I will say goodbye to my humans, my Mom, and my brothers, along with the other humans who know me, met me, cared for me. Even if they never met me, I know they are sad for Mom, because I feel it. My Mom made the decision to let me go because I am very sick. I have cancer and it cannot be cured. It is a mast cell tumor and it is infiltrating my lymph nodes. It is draining all the time and it is very big. Just a few months ago it was just the size of a golf ball. Mom took me to many doctors and I started treatment, a lot of medicine with some yummy peanut butter pill pockets. I was supposed to have surgery but the doctor said it was too risky so Mom kept me on the medicine. Then I scratched myself and I made it bleed, it just got so big, so fast. I am tired but maybe it's because I am getting old too. Mom has to change my bandages every day sometimes two times a day and cover me with extra padding and a doggie t-shirt. I have different t-shirts because the cancer can get messy. I let Mom take care of me, always, and I lick her the entire time. She is always making sure I am as comfortable as I can be. Mom took me to see the dog doctor last week and I didn't get the medicine as I was before. Mom hugged me extra tight and took me back home. I don't like it when she cries, I used to go in a corner before, but now I know that she needs me, so when she is sad, I just lie down next to her and lick her. It works for a little while. I don't know what is about to happen of course. My brother Anthony bought me a lot of squeaky toys and Jackie made me a yummy cake. I sure love the extra attention. I had visits from the humans who really care about me and that made me so happy, Devon, my brothers' dad, my Mom's friend Laurie. Mom tells me about other humans who care about me and her, she said Jen and Taylor say prayers for me. I don't know what they are but Mom smiles when she says it so it must be good. There is also a really caring lady named Lynn, she has a dog like me, and she is very kind to my Mom. I want Mom to feel that she has done everything, she has loved me from the moment we met and that never changed. I kept her company for my entire life and it will be very sad for her. I know she is letting me go because she loves me so much, if only I could let her know I understand and I will always be with her. Love, Diesel