Panda

Panda.
I chose this name due to the likeness in your face that resembled so much of an actual panda bear. You chose me, while you were only 3 months old. I could have taken any of the other litter with me but you would always see me from across the room at the Petco I worked at and met me at the cage while the others slept or attacked each other. That was when we first bonded and it was never broken. Even when you stayed at your god mothers house, or was watched by other family members you always waited for me.
Most others saw you as just my pet, “just a ferret”. But you were so much more.
You were my son. The closest thing to a child to me.
You were also there when I needed you most, even when I didn’t realize I didn’t the company.
You were the light in my darkest times, you were my rock. My constant during the times that were ever changing.
You were my emotional support, but it was always equal support for one another. I gave you everything you ever needed, while you gave me your love back and saved me from myself.
With you gone, a piece of me is lost forever as your spirit goes on. Our souls had become intertwined, locked forever. But the missing pieces will meet again. I just know it.
Our time together felt like so much longer than it actually was, like you had taken up my entire life. Like you were always there, when it was only a few short years. I dedicated hours of every day to you, now what do I do?
It’s been a week already, and I still feel misplaced. Almost every morning you’d wake me up to let me know it’s time to get the day started, even knowing near the end that meant it was time to get your medicine. But I like to think you just missed me that much during the night.
In your baby years, much like a human toddler, you woke me up so many times in the middle of the night just to have my attention. And I gave it to you. How could I not? You were and always will be the love of my life, my light in this dark world.
I really can’t believe this was goodbye in this world, but I’m always so glad that you’re not suffering anymore. I always told myself raising you that if there came a time where you were in pain and I couldn’t help you anymore, I would make sure you were taken care of in the most humane way. I love you so much...I’m not sure when I’ll stop hurting, if I ever will, but I hope your having fun across the rainbow bridge with your brother(s).